In families where love was conditional, conflict was unsafe, or appearances mattered more than truth… you learned to shrink who you were in order to stay connected. You learned that speaking up had consequences. That being “too much” meant being pushed away. That honesty could destabilize the system. That your needs were negotiable. Over time, those lessons stopped feeling like beliefs. They felt like facts. But these beliefs aren’t just thoughts. They live in your nervous system. In your self-t
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