Secure Attachment: from Early Childhood to Adulthood - AP
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How I’d Check If My Foster Placement Was Safe? One thing I tended to do in a new foster home was to push and pull. I didn’t just want closeness — I wanted to know it was real and safe. And the only way my younger self knew how to check that was to test it. So I’d do it. I’d come close… and then I’d push you away. I’d break a rule. I’d tell you to fuck off. I’d act like I didn’t care. I’d create a moment where you had to decide what you were going to do with me — because waiting for you to leave
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Attachment is exactly what children in foster care need 👏🏾🗣️ Don’t run from it. Yes. It’s scary, but attachment is normal; it’s human nature. It means we care, it means we’re invested, it means we LOVE. The original goal is always the child— A child who’s experienced trauma. And while saying goodbyes do hurt as a foster parent, it hurts them too. • • #fosterparenting #fosterparent #fosterdad #fostercare #adoption #love #family #dad #mom #parents #fostermom #attachment #singledad #singlemom #a
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Attachment is built in moments—when we: - Meet their basic needs with reliability & structure & rhythm. And as often as possible, be the only one to meet these needs. (You dole out all the food & drinks. Bedtime, same time every time. Predictable patterns & people.) - Give as many “yeses” as you can—even to silly, trite, or annoying requests. (Sure, you can have a bandaid, even though you’re barely hurt & not at all bleeding. Yes, I’l answer this question l’ve answered dozens of times already.)
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